Monday, December 11, 2006
Friday, November 24, 2006
Backstage with Regis and Kelly.....
"Oh God, Reeg, it was awful. That Aiken thing put his hands on me. I wanted to just VOMIT!"
Regis thought to himself, "Damn, what I wouldn't give to have Kathie Lee back."
"Sweetie, you've done the same thing to me a thousand times."
Kelly rolled her eyes and flipped her hair back, "But Reeg...my hands haven't been down a man's pants...oh wait, there was that one time when Mark was backstage..."
Their conversation is interrupted by a caterwaul....
"REEEEGIS!! KELLY!!! IT'S MEEEE!!!!"
Both hosts turned white. It was their stalker..again.
Regis quickly regained his composure and called for security, "You God Damn assholes get that thing out of here..NOW!!!
As the 5 security guards hauled the 500 lb man thing out the back door he started wailing plaintiffly, 'BUT REG!! I was there at your wedding!!! I know Liza!! and Whitney!! And Kelly!!! I was there at your wedding to Mark..and at your honeymoon...and down the street from your house...and even in your bedroom one time sniffing, er wearing Mark's underwear...."
Kelly shook her head, "How many times has Rockhead snuck backstage now, 6 or 7?"
"I don't know, but how the heck does someone that large get past security all the time?"
Regis thought to himself, "Damn, what I wouldn't give to have Kathie Lee back."
"Sweetie, you've done the same thing to me a thousand times."
Kelly rolled her eyes and flipped her hair back, "But Reeg...my hands haven't been down a man's pants...oh wait, there was that one time when Mark was backstage..."
Their conversation is interrupted by a caterwaul....
"REEEEGIS!! KELLY!!! IT'S MEEEE!!!!"
Both hosts turned white. It was their stalker..again.
Regis quickly regained his composure and called for security, "You God Damn assholes get that thing out of here..NOW!!!
As the 5 security guards hauled the 500 lb man thing out the back door he started wailing plaintiffly, 'BUT REG!! I was there at your wedding!!! I know Liza!! and Whitney!! And Kelly!!! I was there at your wedding to Mark..and at your honeymoon...and down the street from your house...and even in your bedroom one time sniffing, er wearing Mark's underwear...."
Kelly shook her head, "How many times has Rockhead snuck backstage now, 6 or 7?"
"I don't know, but how the heck does someone that large get past security all the time?"
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Showdown at the OK Corral 2
barz looked at axel.
axel looked at barz.
The heat was shimmering off the dusty street.
"You know what? You ain't worth my time" barz said as he moved his hand away from his holster and slowly backed up.
"I knew you were a worthless chicken shit" axel laughed, spitting on the ground. The next thing you know, barz was clutching his chest. Red seeped through his white shirt. He collapsed to his knees.
"You worthless piece of...."
And then he fell over. Dead.
axel looked stunned. He hadn't fired. But he did see a figure walking up the street. Black chaps, pink boots and a pink shirt. Curly jet black hair barely contained by the diamond studded white cowboy hat.
"Who in the name of Hoo are you?" axel asked.
A purse fell.
"I'm the San Franthico Kid. But you can call me Scott. Isn't this fabulous?"
to be continued.
axel looked at barz.
The heat was shimmering off the dusty street.
"You know what? You ain't worth my time" barz said as he moved his hand away from his holster and slowly backed up.
"I knew you were a worthless chicken shit" axel laughed, spitting on the ground. The next thing you know, barz was clutching his chest. Red seeped through his white shirt. He collapsed to his knees.
"You worthless piece of...."
And then he fell over. Dead.
axel looked stunned. He hadn't fired. But he did see a figure walking up the street. Black chaps, pink boots and a pink shirt. Curly jet black hair barely contained by the diamond studded white cowboy hat.
"Who in the name of Hoo are you?" axel asked.
A purse fell.
"I'm the San Franthico Kid. But you can call me Scott. Isn't this fabulous?"
to be continued.
Around the World in Eighty Days
In an effort to outdo Benjamin Nicholas as the King, excuse me, Queen of dishonest escorts, Scott Adler writes over at EscortSpeak:
Finally, this will be my 49th cruise. The 26th of which I will be
doing this particular Ensenada run. It's a family tradition every
year and it's the perfect cheap weekend getaway whenever you want
especially living in LA. Your questioning my loyalty to cruise
lacks your ability to actually utilize reading comprehension in what
I write.
Makes one wonder, as did Escortspeak mod BewareofNick, whether Scott began "cruising" when he was a tender lad of 17.....
Cory say. Scott, stick to swimming. At least that requires you to keep your mouth shut.
Finally, this will be my 49th cruise. The 26th of which I will be
doing this particular Ensenada run. It's a family tradition every
year and it's the perfect cheap weekend getaway whenever you want
especially living in LA. Your questioning my loyalty to cruise
lacks your ability to actually utilize reading comprehension in what
I write.
Makes one wonder, as did Escortspeak mod BewareofNick, whether Scott began "cruising" when he was a tender lad of 17.....
Cory say. Scott, stick to swimming. At least that requires you to keep your mouth shut.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Metropolis Mailbag
The mail has been piling up here at the old New Hooville mailroom, so I thought I would answer a few of the questions that some of the readers have been asking.
To LK: No, I am not Chgoboy, JTRetardinBrooklyn, Rico, Cody Cosmos, BewareofNick or Scott Adler
To MB: I can't imagine that anyone there really likes him, but what can they do? I suppose we could ask Bruiser and Mayday
To 2Deep: Probably Doug69 and woodlawn
To CB: $500 and a room at the Hyatt Regency
To RH: Yes, dear, and I suppose you were the one who finally got through to Whitney too.
to KR: Not even with Tom Delay in a dress
Got a question or a comment? Post here on the News or write me at newhoovillenews@yahoo.com
To LK: No, I am not Chgoboy, JTRetardinBrooklyn, Rico, Cody Cosmos, BewareofNick or Scott Adler
To MB: I can't imagine that anyone there really likes him, but what can they do? I suppose we could ask Bruiser and Mayday
To 2Deep: Probably Doug69 and woodlawn
To CB: $500 and a room at the Hyatt Regency
To RH: Yes, dear, and I suppose you were the one who finally got through to Whitney too.
to KR: Not even with Tom Delay in a dress
Got a question or a comment? Post here on the News or write me at newhoovillenews@yahoo.com
Monday, November 06, 2006
The Re-Return of Erik Ethan Mcalister
Over at Escortspeak, it's looking like they're getting to rumble. We speak not of the childish feud between mbarz and ChgoAxelTake, but of the return of dotan10 in the guise of one of his earlier persona, Ethan (also known as Erik McAlister and TheReasonPeopleHateLawyers)
Get out the popcorn and pull up a chair....
Get out the popcorn and pull up a chair....
It's safe to say I've Been Nicholized
skrubber returns from the dead to add a significant and thought provoking ROTFLMAO to deej's Dilbert post.....
It seems that the object of skrubber's obsession, one Benjamin Nicholas, is highly pissed off at Lance Bass's husband, Reichen. The Amazing Race star wrote a book in which he gives a recounting of a highly erotic rape. Poor benji was probably going to publish a 15 minutes about one time when he was romantically raped and is pissed because Reichen beat him to it.
We at the Hooville News think that Benji has eaten one feci too many.
It seems that the object of skrubber's obsession, one Benjamin Nicholas, is highly pissed off at Lance Bass's husband, Reichen. The Amazing Race star wrote a book in which he gives a recounting of a highly erotic rape. Poor benji was probably going to publish a 15 minutes about one time when he was romantically raped and is pissed because Reichen beat him to it.
We at the Hooville News think that Benji has eaten one feci too many.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Wally and the Boss
Over at Bill's reviews nessage center, deej has decided to wax philosophical:
If we don't ALL see a little of ourselves in this, we're not looking closely enough:
However, we at the Hooville News found a Dilbert that more acurrately reflects deej himself:
We also found a picture of Bill:
If we don't ALL see a little of ourselves in this, we're not looking closely enough:
However, we at the Hooville News found a Dilbert that more acurrately reflects deej himself:
We also found a picture of Bill:
Candle in the Wind
What's up with Benjamin Nicholas's Yahoo! Group? Seems to have disappeared. First 15minutesmore, now this.
Readers, dear Benji lied to you about why he was moving his stuff to private servers.
More to come....
Readers, dear Benji lied to you about why he was moving his stuff to private servers.
More to come....
Showdown at the OK Corral
It was a miserable day. The scorching Arizona sun beat down on the parched dirt, dried out grass blowing away in the desert wind. stewartaxel sat at the filthy bar, nursing a glass of bourbon. He was stung by his failure to capture those two desperados, Big Dick Dotan and the 40 Year Old Kid. The door to the tavern flew open and an old face appeared.
"Drunk again, loser?"
axel slowly turned, tipping his hat up slightly, "I thought I smelled something, barz. It was that week old garbage, but then you overwhelmed the smell."
barz sat down a couple of stools away from axel, "Gin, neat" he said to the barkeep.
He turned to look at axel, "So what name you going by this week? Chicago kid? Take Two Kid?"
"Fuck off you old bastard"
barz just laughed. "You're still stung cuz Big Dick Dotan got away with your loot."
"Maybe I am. What the hell business is it of yours?" axel said, his hand falling to his holster.
"You don't want to do that, boy. You'll lose that hand." barz said carefully unstrapping his weapon. The barkeep had made himself scarce.
axel turned to face barz. The two stared at each other for a few moments.
"Draw."
to be continued.....
"Drunk again, loser?"
axel slowly turned, tipping his hat up slightly, "I thought I smelled something, barz. It was that week old garbage, but then you overwhelmed the smell."
barz sat down a couple of stools away from axel, "Gin, neat" he said to the barkeep.
He turned to look at axel, "So what name you going by this week? Chicago kid? Take Two Kid?"
"Fuck off you old bastard"
barz just laughed. "You're still stung cuz Big Dick Dotan got away with your loot."
"Maybe I am. What the hell business is it of yours?" axel said, his hand falling to his holster.
"You don't want to do that, boy. You'll lose that hand." barz said carefully unstrapping his weapon. The barkeep had made himself scarce.
axel turned to face barz. The two stared at each other for a few moments.
"Draw."
to be continued.....
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
The Wiz
Even more bullshit from chalksoft at the M4M Message Center:
Yes, I've also worked with Diana Ross and our history goes way back.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Cory say: even Karl Rove can't measure up to Rockhard when it comes to lying with a straight face.
And to a very perceptive poster over at MER: I don't need Neil Young around either.
Yes, I've also worked with Diana Ross and our history goes way back.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Cory say: even Karl Rove can't measure up to Rockhard when it comes to lying with a straight face.
And to a very perceptive poster over at MER: I don't need Neil Young around either.
Stumblin' In
Over at MER, the inexplicably still alive Lucky made another of his monumentally insightful observations:
One of the advantages of being a blogger is that you get to post when you feel like it, and, of course, not post when you don't want to. So every once in a while I check out Ben Nicholas' site to see if a new post is up. He does post on an irregular basis. But tonight, I see this:
Site Temporarily Disabled
This site has been temporarily disabled. If you are the owner of the site, please contact customer care.
Hmmm, with Rico in jail, Cory stumbling at the gate, and Rick Munroe letting his blog die, we need Ben right now. Should we take up a colllection to pay his server fee and get him reconnected?
We'll credit Lucky's incredible stupidity to his many near death experiences. However, we would be remiss if we didn't point out that Ben's blog is STILL available to those with the requisite 1/2 brain call that know how to find it. (This obviously excludes our favorite deej wanna be).
BUT
We have it on good authority that this is just the beginning of troubles for Ms. Nicholas and his web ventures. As ye sow, so shall ye reap.
One of the advantages of being a blogger is that you get to post when you feel like it, and, of course, not post when you don't want to. So every once in a while I check out Ben Nicholas' site to see if a new post is up. He does post on an irregular basis. But tonight, I see this:
Site Temporarily Disabled
This site has been temporarily disabled. If you are the owner of the site, please contact customer care.
Hmmm, with Rico in jail, Cory stumbling at the gate, and Rick Munroe letting his blog die, we need Ben right now. Should we take up a colllection to pay his server fee and get him reconnected?
We'll credit Lucky's incredible stupidity to his many near death experiences. However, we would be remiss if we didn't point out that Ben's blog is STILL available to those with the requisite 1/2 brain call that know how to find it. (This obviously excludes our favorite deej wanna be).
BUT
We have it on good authority that this is just the beginning of troubles for Ms. Nicholas and his web ventures. As ye sow, so shall ye reap.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Does Rockhard Believe His Own Bullshit?
Watching Liza is like watching a three-year-old blind girl cross a six-lane highway in L.A. during rush hour. You just sit on the edge of your seat waiting for a pile-up.
I worked with Liza in the 80's and I'll pass on Vegas. The voice is shot and she can thank years of self-abuse for it. I hear she is still smoking cigarettes. Same with Dionne Warbitch. There's nothing worse than a (once) great talent riddled with demons and baggage. - Rockhard over at the purloined M4M Message Center
Is there anyone that Limpsoft has NOT claimed to have worked with? To have done all the many thing Limpsoft claims to have done, he'd have to be almost 200 years old.
Seriously, does ANYONE believe him anymore? He has about as much credibility as deej. Perhaps he's really David Gest?
I worked with Liza in the 80's and I'll pass on Vegas. The voice is shot and she can thank years of self-abuse for it. I hear she is still smoking cigarettes. Same with Dionne Warbitch. There's nothing worse than a (once) great talent riddled with demons and baggage. - Rockhard over at the purloined M4M Message Center
Is there anyone that Limpsoft has NOT claimed to have worked with? To have done all the many thing Limpsoft claims to have done, he'd have to be almost 200 years old.
Seriously, does ANYONE believe him anymore? He has about as much credibility as deej. Perhaps he's really David Gest?
And in Entertainment News
Some blind items for your readers. Some are 100% true and some are just pure speculation. I'll let the savvy amongst you separate the wheat from the chaff.
What pushing 40 escort was recently diagnosed with an embarrassing venereal disease? Reported at :15 after the hour
What poster recently had a relative appear in a bareback porn movie unbeknownst to him? Talk about not being aware.
What former escort lost yet another boyfriend due to being a rather large dick?
How many licks does it take until Lucky croaks?
What pushing 40 escort was recently diagnosed with an embarrassing venereal disease? Reported at :15 after the hour
What poster recently had a relative appear in a bareback porn movie unbeknownst to him? Talk about not being aware.
What former escort lost yet another boyfriend due to being a rather large dick?
How many licks does it take until Lucky croaks?
The Truth Revealed?
Word on the street is that rico is a convicted/registered sex offender in a southwestern state. his webpage was a violation of his parole from a legal sexual standpoint. apparently a common target(s)of his on other websites decided to put an end to many of the vicious lies and hate filled messages which were directed at them. rico had a choice, leave or go to prison. and the rest as they say is history.
True or not? We report, you decide.
Thanks to contributor partiallyhydrogenatedoil for this scoop.
True or not? We report, you decide.
Thanks to contributor partiallyhydrogenatedoil for this scoop.
The Savvy of Benjamin Nicholas
Something (or someone) tells me that this new 'Cory' isn't anything close to being Rico. Nothing like the old Report so far. It's reading more like an advertisement for escortspeak at this point.
Which leads me to believe...
...that Cory is none other than ChgoBoy? At least that's what BN seems to be implying over at MER.
We at the New Hooville News are not sure who's obsession with whom is stronger, but one thing that BN is absolutely right about is that I am not anything close to Rico.
To put it another way, I am Stephen Colbert to Rico's Bill O'Reilly.
I am not a BN hater like some, nor am I a sycophant like Rico or the late unlamented skrubber. Benjamin Nicholas is an excellent escort by all accounts. He is a very skilled at marketing himself and his blog is well put together. On the flip side, he is also a well documented liar and purveyor of misinformation. His attempt at self promotion on Wikipedia is proof of that. In the final analysis, he is a whore, plain and simple. I miss Doug69.
Which leads me to believe...
...that Cory is none other than ChgoBoy? At least that's what BN seems to be implying over at MER.
We at the New Hooville News are not sure who's obsession with whom is stronger, but one thing that BN is absolutely right about is that I am not anything close to Rico.
To put it another way, I am Stephen Colbert to Rico's Bill O'Reilly.
I am not a BN hater like some, nor am I a sycophant like Rico or the late unlamented skrubber. Benjamin Nicholas is an excellent escort by all accounts. He is a very skilled at marketing himself and his blog is well put together. On the flip side, he is also a well documented liar and purveyor of misinformation. His attempt at self promotion on Wikipedia is proof of that. In the final analysis, he is a whore, plain and simple. I miss Doug69.
Breaking News......
News Alert!! It appears that Lucky is STILL not dead. However, sources close to us have reported that Lucky has been tapped by the Bush Administration to lead a peace delegation to Iraq. VP Cheney selected Lucky personally, stating "I bet on the end of October." More as this develops.
Friday, October 13, 2006
Mysterious.....
ChgoBoy wrote:
Sorry BoN, but in this case, the "beans" of which you refer, arebeing buried, not spilled as per your request, with this particularcorpse. That is, of course, only contingent upon the fact that thereferenced corpse continues to fulfill an agreement, which to thisdate has been unbroken, and, with that said, will remainunpublished, until that one might choose to change that promise andagreement.
Mysterious indeed! Calling Lois Lane.....wonder what that "agreement" is all about?
Sorry BoN, but in this case, the "beans" of which you refer, arebeing buried, not spilled as per your request, with this particularcorpse. That is, of course, only contingent upon the fact that thereferenced corpse continues to fulfill an agreement, which to thisdate has been unbroken, and, with that said, will remainunpublished, until that one might choose to change that promise andagreement.
Mysterious indeed! Calling Lois Lane.....wonder what that "agreement" is all about?
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
So What Happened to Rico anyway?
Over at EscortSpeak, ChgoBoy made this post:
I share them with the audience here and now? Do yourself a favorErik; hold hands with Rico and step off the curb when you hear the voice of the twelve year old little girl saying..."Now is the time" That voice is the best thing to reality you will ever have. If you don't believe it, just watch and see what happens in eight (8) days from now to Rico.
And then Ethan/Erik McAlister/TheReasonPeopleHateLawyers/Dotan10 wrote:
You've had your eight days and then some.....Did I miss it?Did Rico miss it?Are you still a pathetic freak?No need to answer again. I believe that's already been determined.LOL
So, it seems that "Dotan" is actually the pathetic freak as Rico has had to shut down due to the evidence uncovered on him by Chgo Boy. So what exactly DID CB find? We're going to try to arrange an interview. Stay tuned.
I share them with the audience here and now? Do yourself a favorErik; hold hands with Rico and step off the curb when you hear the voice of the twelve year old little girl saying..."Now is the time" That voice is the best thing to reality you will ever have. If you don't believe it, just watch and see what happens in eight (8) days from now to Rico.
And then Ethan/Erik McAlister/TheReasonPeopleHateLawyers/Dotan10 wrote:
You've had your eight days and then some.....Did I miss it?Did Rico miss it?Are you still a pathetic freak?No need to answer again. I believe that's already been determined.LOL
So, it seems that "Dotan" is actually the pathetic freak as Rico has had to shut down due to the evidence uncovered on him by Chgo Boy. So what exactly DID CB find? We're going to try to arrange an interview. Stay tuned.
The NEW Hooville News
Welcome. Welcome. Welcome.
With the retirement of Rico's Hooville Village News, a vacuum was created. Since we all know that nature abhors a vacuum, we have decided to fill it. My name is Cory and I am the editor and publisher of the NEW Hooville News. Comments and suggestions are always welcome at newhoovillenews@yahoo.com
You may also feel free to post comments here, but everything will be approved by me first. Anonymous comments will not be published.
We'd certainly like to thank Rico for all his efforts in this area and wish him well.
With the retirement of Rico's Hooville Village News, a vacuum was created. Since we all know that nature abhors a vacuum, we have decided to fill it. My name is Cory and I am the editor and publisher of the NEW Hooville News. Comments and suggestions are always welcome at newhoovillenews@yahoo.com
You may also feel free to post comments here, but everything will be approved by me first. Anonymous comments will not be published.
We'd certainly like to thank Rico for all his efforts in this area and wish him well.
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